Ignorance Is Bliss
This phrase I heard somewhere in my teenage years, I never really understood it back then but it did stick with me. Now many years later, and some recent experiences made me realise the true meaning of it.
I grew up in a safe home, but outside was a little more unsafe. Not unsafe in the way of predators, violence etc. But unsafe with other kids bullying me and my family. Eventually I just stayed more inside. I got access to the internet at some point, a new world opened up for me. Still unsafe in some way, back then it was still the wild west.. No social media. Not everyone was online, but it was okay.
Years later, I discovered some chatrooms.. eventually I found my people. People who seemed to resonate with me more. Fast forward again a few years, I really found my tribe online. I went out to meet them in real life, and yes, they were my people and some still are after a lifetime.
So, I grew up in several bubbles. Protected from the world. I remember one shady encounter online, it didn’t feel like that at the time but thinking back it might have been a pedophile.. We never got around to meeting in real life thankfully, but it could’ve been.
Now, traveling the world. Meeting new people, I’ve had my encounters with more unreliable people. One case in point, the owners of a lodge we stayed with. We had deep conversations about life, we developed a deeper friendship for my feeling. I didn’t feel abused, I enjoyed our time together and felt grateful for what they added to my life. And it seemed to be reciprocated.
This went on for several months, naive as I was I just have good memories of spending time with them and never crossed any boundaries on either side. At some point, the mirage started to crumble. We met family of them, we heard more background stories and personal experiences that didn’t add up to my picture of them. Since we were in really good standing I offered to help and give back in several ways, still maintaining my boundaries.
But I started to pay a little more attention.. they only reached out when they needed something. We spend more time apart but kept in touch. I went away for some weeks, but came back to stay with them more time. Even though they offered for me to stay with them for free, I made sure to pay my dues to not have any debts.
And so, eventually I realised. I was being used in some way, maybe manipulated. I enjoyed my period of ignorance, but the mirage faded away. I started to see the true colours and decided to part ways. I didn’t lose anything, just some trust in humanity. I did gain a little life experience.
Now, thinking back on the time we spent together.. I have several beautiful memories, which feel tainted with distrust. It doesn’t add up in my head.. How can I have these beautiful memories, while it was with shitty people? Can I just enjoy the nice moments we’ve had and still be with disgust of what they really seem to be?
And with that, I started thinking. Is ignorance is bliss? Is it so bad to really enjoy something even though it’s not real? And you don’t know it’s real? What if I fall asleep, never wake up. Spend the rest of my life in a dream world. Where I’m truly happy. Am I not alive? Am I clouded in ignorance?
But I’ll be happy.. so why not. Plug me into some VR world, keeping my corpal body in check for my brain to keep functioning.. like the matrix. What if I never knew what’s really real.. and just enjoy the good stuff. I want the bad stuff too, because there needs to be balance in life. And you can’t feel happy without knowing what it is to be sad of course.. but there’s plenty of things in the world to be sad about..
So why not just keep dreaming.. and be happy.. and in bliss.